How To Lose An Eye And A Life
by ShadedHeart Lamora
Summary: One-shot of Fuujin's past life. Why the eyepatch? Why the strange way of talking? This is my version of it all. Rated for violence and language.


_**Hey-hey-hey! I've created yet another short one-shot! This time, though, it's a FFVIII fanfic. This is my version of how Fuujin lost her eye, and why she speaks the way she does. Also, 'Fujin' is actually a mistranslation, her name should be spelled 'Fuujin'. At least that's what I've read.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VIII. If I did, there would've been lotsa Selvine love, lotsa cute Squall/Laguna father-son moments, lotsa Fuujin awesomeness (she's the best part of the whole game) and so on. **_

_**Anyway, Enjoy!**_

_**How to lose an eye and a life**_

_Story of Fuujin _

I was always a troublesome child. I was not as the other girls in my home town. They were all so prude, they dressed in skirts and dresses, listened to their parents and people who were older than them, always behaved, never spoke when they shouldn't , and if they had another opinion than anyone else they just kept quiet, because nice girls doesn't speak their minds.

I wasn't like that. I dressed like a boy, never listened to anyone, always screamed out my thoughts as loud as I could. I got into fights over nothing, just because I loved the feeling of beating the crap out of someone. Because I loved the feeling when I proved that I, a girl, could win over them, boys, in combat. Because I loved to see their faces when they realised I had outmatched them in strength, speed, agility and intelligence.

Sure, I wasn't the brightest student in school, but I was _not_ stupid. I just... didn't care that much. I preferred to use my intelligence to see patterns in fights, find openings in my enemy's defence, and to know exactly when I should attack and when I should be defensive. It was then I showed my intelligence. In fights.

Always in fights. How many weren't the times when I came home, my clothes dirty, my hair untidy, I had bruises and wounds all over me, and I shone like a sun and was all happy. My mother almost cried, my father looked angry, and I yelled:

"I really beat the crap outta them this time! He'll never mess with me again, not after I nearly castrated him! They think I'm weak just 'cuz I'm a girl, and they're soooo surprised when they don't stand a chance against me..."

And so on. My mother scolded me for being so un-girlish, for behaving like a boy, and at the same time I could see tears of hopelessness in her eyes. I guess she understood that I would never change.

My father sighed, scowled at me and frowned. Then he told me that I would never get myself a boyfriend, never get married, never have kids and a family of my own, if I kept being like this.

I just stared at him. _Boyfriend? Married? Family?_ Was he out of his frickin' _mind_? I didn't want a boyfriend! I didn't want to get married, hell no! Being bound to some stupid guy who probably would make you preggers and leave you at home to take care of the kids, while he was off having fun and drinking with his buddies? No thank you! Having to give birth to a lot of kids, who would take up all of your time, always crying, screaming, being sad, hungry...? _Absolutely no!_

Reason? Didn't I just explain why? Well let's take it again. Guys are equal to problems. They get you pregnant, then they leave. Kids are annoying. _End of story._

I wanted to be free. Not bound by some relationship, or duties like taking care of a home. No. My dreams wouldn't work, I know that, because some day I'd have to move out of my parents' house and get me one of my own, and then I'd have to take care of it. But that future didn't exist in my world. I was young, I was wild, I was _free_. Just like I wanted to be.

I never had any real friends. I think I scared the other girls with my behaviour. Their parents were afraid of the thought of their daughters being like me, so they made sure those little dolls were kept away from me.

I never had any friends among the boys either, just because I beat them up. They didn't _hate_ me, but they sure as hell didn't like me. Being defeated by a girl was utter embarrassment for them. I guess I was a very lonely child, even if I didn't realise it then. I always thought that I was happy, as long as I had something to beat up whenever I was bored.

But I was proved wrong.

Everything changed one day, and after that I realised that fighting wasn't all there was in life. In fact, fighting could ruin your life. I learned that when I was eleven.

I was in a fight, as usual. It was quite late, I wasn't allowed to be out this late but I didn't care one bit. One of the boys had teased me. It was something stupid, about me being not a girl nor a boy, but a monster in human disguise, and the reason that I fought so much, was that I wanted to eat their flesh. I know, stupid, isn't it? But we were just kids. And I was mad.

So, without thinking, I threw myself at the boy, I was so angry I could've clawed his eyes out. Unfortunately, it ended with something else. Quite similar, but at the same time not. He still has both of his eyes, I think, if he hasn't lost them since I saw him the last time.

When he saw me, he raised his fist to punch me. He hit me in my left eye. It would normally just have leaved a bruise, but he was wearing some king of ring. The ring had a spike-looking thing on it. It went straight into my eye, and I could feel pain pierce my body like bolts of lightning. I screamed, loud enough for the whole town to hear.

The boys all fled. They left me sitting there on the street, on my knees, crying like a baby, with my hand over my eye. My bleeding, hurting eye. I kept it closed, because blood streamed down my face, and I was wise enough to understand that opening the eye wouldn't exactly help the blood stop running.

Eventually, some adults found me. I don't remember so much, because the loss of blood had made me weak and I fell unconscious. All I remember is the pain.

When I woke up, I was at a hospital. My eye was covered with bandages, and it still hurt. A doctor told me that I would be just fine, except from the fact that I would never be able to use my eye again. That wasn't exactly my version of 'just fine'.

I cried so much those nights I spent at the hospital. I thought I was weak, crying wasn't something you did when you were the best fighter _ever._ And that's what I thought I was. How was I supposed to fight if I only had one eye? It felt like my life was over.

When I could return home, I had a patch over my now useless eye. All the people in my home town stared at me, and I felt like I just wanted to cry even more. But I didn't allow myself to do that. Instead, I swore that I would get revenge on the boy who had ruined my life.

I was even more violent than before, got into fights with no reason at all, just because fighting helped me to forget that I only had my right eye left. The boy who hit me stayed away from me, but I hunted him down like a deer. I eventually encountered him, my only eye burning with anger.

"RAGE!" I yelled. That was what I felt right then.

And it felt good, that only word. Like a battle cry.

Then I hit him, as hard as I possibly could. He fell, crashed into some boxes, and when he finally landed on the street like a rag doll, I could see blood. He had hit his head, and was badly injured.

The people of the town hated me after that. They said that I was unstable, unable to control myself. That their precious town wouldn't be safe until I was gone.

It was then my parents decided to send me to Garden. I could not stay, I had almost killed a boy. If fighting was what I liked to do, then Garden would be the perfect place for me.

That was what they thought.

I didn't like it _at all._ Sure, I loved fighting, but I didn't want to have instructors who lectured me when I didn't fight the way they thought I should, or having to obey the orders of a headmaster. I loved to fight, but I wanted to fight because I _wanted_ to, not because I was _ordered_ to.

Nobody listened to my pleads. They sent me to Balamb Garden.

I decided that I should never talk to anyone. Not about my past, not about my eye, not about me, not about anything.

But I found two friends in Balamb, Raijin and Seifer. I wanted to talk to them, but I still had the promise I made to myself. I compromised by mimicking my battle cry. I spoke with one, or maybe two words, and I always said it quite loud.

Seifer was the leader of our little gang, because he was the leader type. Raijin and I did whatever he decided. Actually, it felt good to not have to think, or make my own decisions for once. And the orders Seifer gave us was those kind of orders we gladly carried out.

Raijin was quite annoying at times, and he could be a little clumsy sometimes, too. It ended up with me kicking him and saying 'IDIOT'.

All the other students at Garden knew who we were. We were famous. It was Seifer with the hot temperament, the big guy Raijin who always said 'ya know?' in every sentence, and it was me, the taciturn, one-eyed Fuujin, who always lectured Raijin. We ruled the place.

And I was so happy. For the first time ever, I had friends.

I lost an eye, and a life.

I can never get my eye back, but I have found a new life, one that is much better than my old one.

I think an eye is a reasonable price for a new life, and if I could change back to how it was before, when I still had two eyes, I wouldn't. That life isn't worth two eyes.

This life, however, is definitely worth one eye.

_**Author's Notes: I wrote all of this at one time. Maybe a mistake, I don't know. Well, I'm pretty content with it. Also, this is **_**my****_ version. Like it or don't like it, it's your choice. I do :)_**

_**Thanks to you guys who have reviewed my other fanfics, it really means a lot! Care to Review this too? Love you bunches if you do!**_

_**Oh, and sorry for spelling/grammar mistakes. I'm Swedish, and that can't be helped, I'm afraid.**_


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